Home?

Sunday came and went and I was unable to post this weeks “Real Talk” so I’m bringing it into Monday.

I am in my 5th month now and it’s surreal how quickly the time has passed. Maybe it’s because I am getting older, maybe it’s because I am having too much fun – either way it’s unbelievable. My hair has grown at least 2.5 inches, I have already eaten more than my body weight in beef, the light has shifted and the trees are shedding their leafy companions; yet I still feel like I just landed!

I am also startled at the fact that I never find myself feeling “homesick”. I miss my things, having my own apt with my stuff etc. I miss my friends and family terribly. But, thanks to Facebook and Skype they don’t feel far away. It just feels like we have all just been too busy to see each other.

Perhaps it is because I am not sure where my “home” is. Growing up I was lucky, I never had to move. My dad built our house right before I was born – that is my “home”-  and while I love going back to visit, I can feel the separation. We all know the quote “you can’t go home again”; I have spent too much time outside of that home. During college I didn’t return for spring break/summer vacations. I moved out and haven’t “lived” there since. My parents home is home, and I love it,  but it’s a different kind of home for me now.

Maybe it’s also because I tend to be restless and thought of settling into a “home” of my choosing is too much of a committment for me at this point in my life. I have always seen my cities/apartments etc as very temporary, always ready to move on. It could also be that I don’t have much time to feel lonely here as a result having won the roommate lottery and they feel like family.

I wonder, however, if this city could ever feel like “home”. 5 months in and I am already starting to think of other potential options/destinations . . . It’s interesting to be in this space because I am technically “free”. Where I decide to land and dig my roots is entirely up to me!

But, for now, Buenos is where I lay my head and I am grateful for that.

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